Oh Baby!!

Alena Lydia

She was born on Saturday, May 27th, 2006 at 2:28 P.M.

Birth Order

My wife and I are expecting our first born anytime. The official due date is the 30th, so a week from today. We are very excited. I'd like to dedicate the next few posts to parenthood, expecting parents, and babies. Here's the first one:

The Birth Order of Children

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as
long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular
clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that
last time,breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth
month.
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The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly
in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the
clothes are clean and discard only the ones
with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--
a whimper,a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her
wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old
how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the
floor, you put it away until you can go
home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the
floor, you squirt it off with some juice
from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt
and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers
every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every
two to three hours,if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper
before others start to complain about the
smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
______________________________________________________
Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
Baby Swing,and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket
and the dry cleaner.
______________________________________________________
Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby
with a sitter,you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door,
you remember to leave a number where you can be
reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter
to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day
just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching
to be sure your older child isn't squeezing,
poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day
hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin,
you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you
carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you
deduct it from his allowance!

Escape the Room Games

You wake up, not knowing where you are... you look around. You're in a room with one door, but it's locked. How can you find your way out?

On the bottom of the page linked below are a lot of fun escape the room games. Some of them offer walkthroughs, if you get stuck. Try them out!

Escape the Room Forums

These type of flash games can be fun, if you have the patience, or I guess even if you don't.


I've spent quite a bit of time trying to get out of the rooms, and I think they're a lot of fun.

Deserted

There was a Priest and a Nun crossing the desert on a camel one day when a terrible sand storm came. It lasted for 6 hours and when it finally cleared they were horrified to see their camel was dead. They had no food or water and the situation looked hopeless. The Priest turned to the Nun and said "Sister, seeing as we are going to die out here, can you grant me one wish?"

The Nun said "Yes Father, what is your final wish?"
"In all my years in the church I’ve never seen a pair of breasts before." said the Priest. The Nun was a bit shocked but lifted her robes to show off her tits in all their glory. The Priest smiled and said "Thank you Sister."

Then the Nun turned to the Priest and said "Father, in all my years in the church I have never seen a man’s ’thingy’ before. Is it alright for you to show me?" The priest happily agreed and got his junk out. The Nun studied it intensly. The Priest had his eyes closed and was rising to attention as the Nun touched it with fascination. The Priest said with a smile on his face, "Sister, do you know that when it’s placed in certain ’areas’ it can give life?"

And the Nun looked and at him and said "WELL STICK IT UP THIS CAMELS ARSE AND LETS GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE!!!!"

Worth a Giggle 2

For a Quick Giggle

Sexy Lady in the Bar

A very attractive lady goes up to the bar in a quiet tavern. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no." the man replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message." she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," She whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room!"