Grandmas Don't Know Everything

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"


She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."


Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,

"Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!!"

Secret to a Long Marriage

With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister inquired trips to where?

"For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."

The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"

Brother Ralph: "I'm going to go get her."

The Poker Game

Six, retired Floridians, play high stakes poker in the condo clubhouse.

A member of the group, Meier, loses $5000 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up.

Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna' tell his wife?"

They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, not to make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name....leave it to me"

Goldberg goes over to the Meier apartment, and knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants.

Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost $5000 playing poker, and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!" says the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.