.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Humor, entertainment, reviews, jokes, games, hobbies, and things to keep you occupied for hours. Much more to come soon!

CrispAds Blog Ads


Birth Order

My wife and I are expecting our first born anytime. The official due date is the 30th, so a week from today. We are very excited. I'd like to dedicate the next few posts to parenthood, expecting parents, and babies. Here's the first one:

The Birth Order of Children

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as
long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular
Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that
last time,breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth
The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly
in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the
clothes are clean and discard only the ones
with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--
a whimper,a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her
wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old
how to rewind the mechanical swing.

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the
floor, you put it away until you can go
home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the
floor, you squirt it off with some juice
from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt
and pop it back in.

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers
every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every
two to three hours,if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper
before others start to complain about the
smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
Baby Swing,and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket
and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby
with a sitter,you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door,
you remember to leave a number where you can be

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter
to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day
just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching
to be sure your older child isn't squeezing,
poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day
hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin,
you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you
carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you
deduct it from his allowance!


Blogger *Skittles* said...

That was so funny. I can relate with having 4 kids. LOL TY

6:54 PM

Blogger Ginevra Fanshawe said...

How uncanny! I'm expecting my third baby--a boy after two girls--and I was just wondering if it would scar him to sleep in a bassinet with pink-checked padding.

8:48 PM

Blogger ...jus me said...

I love it! Where did you find this? I need to show my daughter, she has five! She was that way with the first 3 but the next one was twins and she became very over protective again! Go figure!

1:31 AM

Blogger mommy on the verge said...

Congrats on the new one comin'! HOW EXCITING!

2:06 PM

Blogger Mama Mouse said...

Yes ... this is VERY true! LOL Though I never had to worry about passing on pink to a boy ... as I never had pink to begin with. Just blue!

Please let us know when the new one arrives~ And CONGRATS to you and Mrs. Tachizuno!!

10:16 AM

Blogger Guppyman said...


1st child - Grab it and boil it immediately!
2nd child - Wipe it off on your jeans and pop it back in
3rd- The dog can get, can't he?

11:21 AM

Blogger Wally Banners said...


6:56 PM

Blogger theothermichelle said...

Oh my gosh, that was funny! ROFL!

10:15 AM

Blogger tere616 said...

1st. Congrats for the cute baby.

2nd. It's so true...so true...

8:17 AM

Blogger Tachizuno said...

Thanks for the comments. I'm learning a lot in the past 2+ weeks. I have a lot to learn still.

Expect a lot of late night posts, and many that deal with babies.

11:55 PM


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home