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Going batty!

Little did I know the terror such a little creature such as a bat would bring me.

This happened before I was married. Thankfully my wife didn't have to deal with any of this, but if only she could've seen what I went through.

I arrived home from a nice weekend out of town. I sat down at my computer and was checking up on the latest sports scores when all of a sudden I see WINGS. flap-flap-flap

I realize what it is and spaz. I don't really want wings of a bat in my face. My first thought was a bird, when I hadn't a chance to look. Even worse for me, is a bat. I know, they're small and fragile. Well, it's the wings that get me, and I'm not going near them.

So I get out of the room as quickly as possible, and it flies out the other door. Imagine sitting relaxed at a computer and 'whalla' - a bat starts flying around you. The ceilings in the rooms were about 8 feet high, so it was 2 feet above my head, if that. I DID NOT
want that thing landing on me.

My plan - get it to fly out the front door. I wasn't risking any chance of it landing on me, or touching me. I had no tennis racket, and nothing really to swat it with. I wouldn't have even considered it anyway.

I had ran out of the room, and lost track of where it went. So now I had to locate the bugger. I snuck around like a sleuth, looking at every ceiling, every wall. I found the little guy nestled in my back entryway, resting on a wall.

Now to follow my plan I had to get him to fly out of the back entryway, through the kitchen (which was adjacent) and then through the living room (adjacent to the kitchen and computer room). To get him to fly I decided to use some wasp/hornet spray.
I thought it might even kill him. Plus, it had a long range of spray... nearly 20 feet.

I took aim and got ready to run, but missed him with the spray. Then I got ready again and off the wall he came like "A bat out of hell" haha. I guess I wasn't quite ready, and plunged out of there, ramming into the refrigerator, and nearly tipping it over, moving it about six feet to the side. I ran to the front door, and ran outside.

The plan worked! He flew around a few times, and then flew out the front door. Whew!

I could relax. I decided to go to bed. I usually sleep in my skivvies, and laid down. I heard a rustling noise, and wondered, "What the heck is that now?" I decided I better find out since my mind was working up some eerie thoughts.

I turned on
the lights, and decided to have a look around. Just near my bed was a small rectangular window, about shoulder height for me when I'm standing. I thought I heard something there, so I pulled the curtain back, and I'm greeted with WINGS flap-flap-flap.

Keep in mind I'm in only my underwear, and if I decently described my dislike for the wings, I was sprawled on the floor (in my underwear) in about one nanosecond. The bat was flying circles about 5 feet above my head, and I crawled for the door. I crawled out, not knowing if it had made it out too and ran for the bathroom. Luckily I had some clothes in there, and put on a sweatshirt and sweats.

My plan- Get him out of the bedroom. I was tired, and fed up at this point, and ready almost swat at one.

I opened the door, and he flew out of the room less than a minute after and went to the back entryway.

I'm now wondering how many I'm dealing with. I did a good search of my bedroom, and slept with the light on that night.

The next day I called my landlord and made him get rid of it.

For 2 years I didn't have any bats in the house. Then one night, I was sitting at my computer again, when it decided to visit my little computer room. I shut it in there that night and thought of a plan.

I laugh at myself now... I put a sheet up blocking off the kitchen/living room. I kept the bathroom door shut, so I wanted it to fly out the front door, which is off of the living room. I
had found out it had spent the night in a closet in the computer room. The doors for the closet are the type where you pull the handle and they separate in the middle (forget the name of that type) Anyway I had blocked off the bottom of the closet, so I figured he couldn't get out.

About midnight the next night I heard him become active. He was moving around in there, and I could hear him on the floor. I was at the ready. I had on my bat-fighting outfit (sweatshirt with hood up, long pants, winter cap, gloves, 9-iron) I was ready!

Little did I know he decided to squish himself out through the top of the closet door. (Getting the heebie-jeebies again picturing this in my mind). He eventually squished
through the small gap and sat on the door for what seemed like an hour. I had the door off the living room all set. I figured he'd fly out of that room, into the living room and fly out the door. Do you think he could do that for me? NOPE

He did finally fly out, and did a nice 3-4 circle tour of the living room, and then nestled to rest in the corner opposite of the front door. HELLO, MR. BAT --- GO OUTSIDE WHERE YOU BELONG!!!! So I was sick of the whole thing and began chucking gloves, hats, whatever I could find at the little bugger to get him out. Finally I nailed him with a glove and he flew around once and then flew outside.

That was the last episode with bats I hope I ever have. I've since moved from that place, but I still g
et a little jumpy when a shadow quickly goes by me as I'm sitting around.

I hope you enjoyed my little horror story!



Blogger ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

That was THE most hilarious thing I have ever read; thanks for sharing with the public!!! :-)

1:19 PM

Blogger Janet said...

I think I would have had a heart attack! I can't stand those things, they freak me out!

4:57 PM

Blogger David Schantz said...

I used to live in a building that had bats. A tennis racket is about the best weapon you can get.

God Bless America, God Save The Republic

5:19 PM

Blogger Mama Mouse said...

LOL ... I had a similar type experience many years ago! I know how you felt! And I know how you felt when they reappeared! LOL

Thanks for making me smile and cringe all at the same time!

6:43 PM

Blogger Tachizuno said...

They freak me out so much, but I thought it was a humorous story.

And my bat-fighting uniform was funny.

I hope I described it well enough.

Thanks for the comments....

Thanks ariadnek, appreciate it.

7:52 PM

Anonymous Korean Celt said...

Once again, I had a high school experience with a friend of mine when we were driving through a canyon to get to a party one evening. My friend drove a VW bug her father had restored, so it was a small car. We were driving along with the windows down and the music playing when all of a sudden something swooped in through my friend's window. We both started screaming because we couldn't tell what it was and we were freaking out because this thing is flapping around our heads in this tiny little space like a moth trapped in lamp, but we couldn't pull over because we were driving through a canyon and the roads are very narrow and you can only pull off at special emergency pull-off spots. So we're driving along screaming, our arms flailing around, and my friend is trying to stay with it enough to keep from driving off the road. When we finally pull off the side, my friend tells me that whatever it is is trapped behind her head and the car seat. So she leans forward and I see it's a bat, at which point we're both really, really freaked out. Unfortunately, the force with which she slammed back her head when she felt it there killed the bat and I had to pull it out of her hair and then we threw it out the window. We had to sit there for about fifteen minutes getting our wits back before we could continue on to the party. Of course, she was worried for the next week that she was going to get rabies.

10:18 AM

Blogger Tachizuno said...

Oh wow! I don't know if I could've handled that!

12:19 PM

Blogger ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

Heh...this one STILL has a smile on my face; I'm going to put a link to this post on one of my blogs...

3:05 AM

Blogger Tachizuno said...

Thanks for doing that ariadnek...

I still can't imagine dealing with a bat landing on my head like you were mentioning korean celt. I probably would've smashed into a tree, or something worse.

Still, that story is so funny too, in a freaky sort of way.

12:28 PM

Blogger Your Fearless Leader said...

nice... thats about all i can say. I have also had experience with bats in the house. My philosophy is, "fight bats with bats"... I did manage to crank a couple of them and have never had another problem since.


11:59 AM

Blogger Legendarychipmunk said...

thats awsome
i like the pics

8:37 PM

Anonymous monika said...

i used to live in a big, old ex-frat house...20+ rooms, creaky floors, the works. my room was on the top floor, just over the roof. the ceiling sloped just over my bed (sit up too quickly and POW)...i often heard things rustling in the space above me (a foot or two above my face). I didn't think much of it, except after i'd seen some frightening movie.
anyway...i was writing a paper for one of my classes. the fan whirred above me. then i heard a rattling sound, like its cords were banging together. then the wooden beads over my front door rattled. then the fan cord. i looked up.
a bat circled the top of my room. it divebombed my head. i screamed (and i'm not usually a screamer) and ran down the hall. i tried going back to my room, but the bat was still there. as soon as i got to the door, it zoomed at my head. i ducked and it disappeared down the hall.
a few guys lived in the floor below me, so i told them about the bat. they grabbed brooms...but the bat was nowhere to be found.
i must say, for the next few days i felt like something was either about to pounce on me, or was crawling on my neck. bats are definitely creepy!

8:38 PM

Blogger Tachizuno said...

thanks for sharing... ewwww


10:23 PM

Anonymous Anna said...

Those things give me the chills..

9:19 AM

Blogger CaptnSaj said...

Bats can be annoying when they get into places they don't belong. But they can be a real asset. I was thinking of building a bat house in my backyard to help protect against bugs (you can buy one also). And I think they're cool - just as long as they stay out of the house.

7:51 PM

Blogger Cruxley said...

Eeew. I hear those things can carry rabies.
Bats once interrupted a rather...intimate moment in the early days of my humans' relationship. It was in an outdoor shelter in the summertime and he wanted to ignore the bats! Hormones sometimes override common sense...

12:28 PM

Blogger Mama Mouse said...

LOL .... did it drive you 'BATTY'??

Sorry .... couldn't resist!

9:16 PM

Anonymous Jay said...

It's hard to imagine an uglier animal than the bat...perhaps a sloth. They both can give me nightmares. Nature sure was cruel to these animals; they just look menacing. I don't know what it is about a sloth that makes me cringe. I think it looks like a human skeleton moving very slowly. It's the same with the bat, the skin is so thin, and you can see the bones sticking out...oh yuck!

1:22 AM

Blogger apples said...

I take it you didn't grow up anywhere near the countryside?

11:05 AM


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