How to Shower:

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry

hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you

see husband along the way, cover up any exposed

areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make

mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg

cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo

with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner

enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for

10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa

cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country. * Wrap

hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and

towel on head. If you see husband along the way,

cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the

bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her

making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire

the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse

them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and

surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs

stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was

hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light

and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you

pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and

make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at

the truth behind this, there is something SO very

wrong with you. Have a great day!

Oh, and....woo woo!!!