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9/18/2006

Be Careful Naming Your Dog

I can't admit I wrote this personally, but I thought it was funny:

What Not To Name Your Dog
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine Sex.

Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I said,"But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "But you don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

I can't say that Sex has always been good. One time I was at the park and tied him to a tree while I used the bathroom. When I came back he was gone. I told a lady that was there "I've looked everywhere for Sex, without any luck. Can you help me?" She slapped me in the face, and walked away.

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Korean Celt said...

I think Pink named her dog something like F*cker. I'm sure she turns heads when she yells its name down the street.

10:03 AM

 
Blogger herakles said...

Maybe you should put up posters everywhere - I've lost Sex! I cannot live without Sex ! If you find Sex, will reward you handsomely - call or write today

12:58 PM

 
Blogger Uncle Mike said...

This was a fun read. I hope you don't mind but i added you to my favorite blog links on my blog.

Come by and visit.

http://wood-n-things.blogspot.com/

2:10 PM

 
Blogger Girl said...

OMG haha that is brilliant!!!! Whoa had quite a laugh :D

5:00 PM

 
Anonymous celebritygossipandchat said...

very very cute

8:22 PM

 
Blogger bsoholic said...

LOL funny!

5:15 PM

 
Anonymous bayi said...

Sex is a man's best friend. Don't you agree? :)

10:23 PM

 
Anonymous greywulf said...

LOL !!!!!!!!!!

9:55 AM

 

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